BA DA BOOM!!!

things that happened thias week

well to start it all off i got a puncture, not the greatest start to the week ill agree but bare with me it gets better

so i took the now flat tire into a garrage id never been to before, it was'nt much just a shed in someones back garden, the mechnic was fairly nice and agreed to replace it there and then, so as he was fucking about with it he starded talking to me which i hate btw not because i dont like talking to people, its when your forced into a convorsation with someone and you sort of have to agree with what there saying, you pretend your friends for ten minutes and then go your seporate ways and never meet again, it usualy happens with taxi drivers, and typically thery will first ask you what you do so in my case i say im a lifeguard they then serch there memory banks for infromation that relates to lifeguard, only to come up with something i dont wanna know about "oh my third cousin twice removed did that" i dont care could you please just fix my tire so i can go home

anyway im getting off topic
the next day id to get up early as i was working a day shift which was interesting for a change
because id ironed my tracky bottems (note i dont ware them because i want to its because there part of my uniform) the night before and they felt so good, i walked on the pool to be greated with the usual "owright coco" from jim, i should explain i wear red converse while im working and aparently they make me look like a clown so i got labled with coco the clown or coco for short, the day went on as normal and about 12 a wee girl in the pool swam up to me and asked the best question ive ever been asked "exscuse me, see when i grow up will you be dead?" now baring in mind there is probibly only 10 years between us i said "i dout it pal" and she replyed "i think you will" so either she's psychic or i just recieved a death threat form a 7 year old
either way i better start making a will

to be continued...

just a wee update for you

hi
not really posted a blog in a while
so this is a wee update on my life

well first of all ive started vloging on youtube
but its not going so well ive one video up right now
but its not very good in my opinion
but ill keep tinkering away with it and see if i can do any better
XD

i had the day off work today
and its been good ive just sat about the house all day
chilaxing and chizz
XD

and right now im just watching a new film
the mist
and so far its gooooooood
^-^

thats all i think bye

youtube - http://www.youtube.com/user/italialyanoboi
bebo - http://www.bebo.com/AndrewM3599

attention all rock music lovers

ask yourself who is your favourite band right now
muse
queen
marylin manson
breaking benjamin
red hot chilli peppers
personaly i dont care everyone has there own tastes
but they all fall under one catagory
ROCK and ROLL
good old head banging, electric guitar, rebel against your parents rock and roll
so lets all bow down to the inventor of this amazing genre
without howm life would be quite and boring
no its not god its
Chuck Berry
thats right rock and roll was invented by a black man

we thank you chuck

and if you live dance tunes
you can go die in a hole

peace out XD

boredom killed the dinosaurs

hey guys

it is currently 1 in the morning
and ive had so much coffee today im incapeable of falling asleep
so here i am throwing this together
i am sorry if it dosent make any sence my brain is in nuclear meltdown
the caffine high is starting to ware off and my fingers are hitting the wroong keyyyyyss om tha keeyborde
*slaps face*

wow im back
so here is why boredom killed the dinosaurs
dinosaurs died 3.4 million years ago
a fact ive remembered since i was 7 because like most little boys i was dinosaur mad
they first apeared 6 million years ago
so maths tells us they were around for 2.6 million years
now after 2.6 million years i think we would all get a little bored
so they killed them selves
XD

i dont know as i said caffine nuclear meltdown
thing

OMG such a day
there were these two 8 year old girls asking me questions
"whats your name"
"what high school did you go to"
"who do you thinks older"
"my dads name is steven do you want to talk to him"
NO! fuck off

IDK

peace out XD

ten ways to entertain yourself on the pool side

hi
if you dont already know im a life guard
which involves long periods of standing around a pool watching fat/retarded people attempt to swim
so you gotta find ways of entertaining youself
with only a watter bottle
so here is how you do it

1-unscrew the top of your water bottle and attempt to summersault it in mid air adnd catch it with out getting wet, please note this takes a lot of practice and be prepared to get soaked

2-hold the bottle vertical and blow as much air into it as you can, then holding the air in tilt your head back untill the bottle is upside down and release the pressure and be amazed how water suddenly flows into your mouth with out you doing anything

3-scoosh some water on the tiles and slide back and foreword, this is entertaining for a while as long as you dont fall over

4-hold the bottle up to your mouth and sing along to real radio which will be playing in the back ground, using the bottle as a microphone

5-if a water bottle has been left behinde by the previous shift empty the contents and fill with pool water insted, then laugh to yourself and place it back where you found it

6-see how long it takes you to drink the whole bottle and try to beat your work mates

and ive suddenly ran out of ideas
sorry but there is only so much you can do with a water bottle

peace out XD

an insite into the goverment

hey fellow uk bloggers
my super secret sorces tell me we have a crisis
with all this snow the united kingdom is running out of grit for the roads
*mad cartoon eyes pop out of your head panic*
what are we going to do
theres 2 inches of snow
we're practicly snowed in :o
emergency planning offices around the country have been told to send daily salt reports to the salt disrribution center (aka the salt cell)
*crickets chirping*
i shit you not
thats what there calling them selves
dosent that just give you faith in the goverment
or the big yin as they now are calling them selves

peace out XD

my first ever blog

at last a place to post my random thaughts and rants XD
and what am i going to start off with

water
yip water
because every job ive had so far has involved water in a major way
first i worked on it (sailor)
then i used it to wash dishes (kitchen porter)
now i stop people from drowning in it (lifeguard)
and by sheer boredom alone i drink two gallons of the stuff a day
and thats a lot of water
(note to self must stop spelling water with two Ts)
the point is i hate the fucking stuff

anyway that is all for now
peace out XD